Guiding Spirit

Yesterday, my friends and I visited our old dance instructor Mr. Pete Capocao and his wife Rosalinda. During our dancing hey days, Mr. Capocao taught the guys how to dance the cha cha, boogie, tango etc. He was a businessman. He owned his own metal work fabricating shop, was active in church and in civic organization too. His wife Linda, I knew had a mild stroke several years ago, although limping, I had seen her attending masses with her husband Pete at church. Yet of late, both of them were nowhere to be seen. We heard Mr. Capocao was sick, we talked about him and decided to make a visit. (On occasions, he invited us to his house for fiesta.) Although the visit was planned but it was delayed for several weeks now because either one of us would be out of town or indisposed. Last Saturday however, I talked to my friends. I told them that if they would not come with me this Sunday, I would go by myself. I would be guilty stricken if in case he happened to die and I was unable to visit. Thankfully, they came along with me yesterday.

The visit was unannounced and so we arrived in a most awkward situation where Mr. Capocao was found seated outside his house, airing himself almost naked, wearing only a boxer short. He had the presence of mind though to cover his groin with a piece of face towel. Hehehe. Anyway, Linda his wife sat on another chair beside him. Both of them did not move from where they were seated. Linda was teary eyed, very thankful of our visit. Pete was kind of senile, not recognizing most of us. He was curious about the red packet I gave him, opened it up like a kid and showed the money to his wife. Linda was more talkative:
" I can not walk."

" My feet hurt."
" Our friends have forgotten us, no one comes to visit."
" Pete fell down from Robinson's. His son tried to pull his hands. The force of pulling hurt his right hand. He can not move his right hand well now. He should have (physical) therapy after the fall but then we came home from Manila already."
" Our friends who used to come here to drink with him, did not visit us anymore."
" Now that we are poor nobody comes to see us."
" Not all children are good." .............
" Pete falls down even when he sneezes."
" I think Pete will die first ahead of me."........

I went home that morning with mixed feelings, although I initially felt good that we had visited him. But by night fall, I was kind of feeling depressed due to maybe because of the many problems I need to face concerning the on going repair of my leaking roof deck. I was tremendously scared for rain to come, afraid lest it leaked on several parts of the house. During supper I talked to Lucas about the fear of getting old. "Until we are together, we will take care of each other. You'll take care of me and I'll take care of you." ......." I don't want to concern any of my children about taking care of us during our old age."........."Maybe I'll prefer a yaya (care giver) and a driver to obey my biddings."...."I know I am not going to stay in this house forever but until I am still here, I shall take care of it.".......and so on and so forth.

Then I began complaining about how I tried my best to put and build up my house as a safe shelter and haven for my family. (The building in LCT has two sections: the front which belongs to Luna and Tina, and the back which belongs to Lucas and me.) I kind of supervised the construction even from the very start, climbed up the building ladders even when I was pregnant, agreed to Luna's decision that Lucas and I stay at the back of the building as our portion, took in my mother-in-law, took care of the common kitchen and watched out for the construction works that were being done. As years went by, I also supervised all the repairs and concerns in the common area, even until now. Yet it turns out everything on my side of the house went wrong against my good intentions. My roof deck is leaking, my downspouts are rotten, my ceilings are opening up, etc, etc......

"Why do I have to end up with all the troubles, God is so unfair......." I complained to Lucas. But as usual, Lucas took my complaints silently and quietly. To un-stress, I opened up my piano and played a few simple pieces hoping to abate my pent up emotions. I played "Let There Be Peace on Earth.", then I played a few Christmas tunes too "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas", " The First Noel" and then "Away in a Manger."

When I had done playing, I looked up at the little Belen figuring on my piano mantel piece and I sang softly."Away in a manger, no crib for a bed...........". Something struck my heart and made me think. In a little while, I went up to Lucas and embraced him. I said. "I am not going to complain anymore. You know, God came and was born in a manger......and so what am I complaining about?!.... I am not going to complain anymore." I promised.

Thank you O Holy Spirit for guiding my heart and mind.


Updates: Pete Capocao passed away last December 23, 2015. Lucas and I were in Manila then and were unable to attend his wake. May his soul rest in peace and find rest with the Lord.