January 28, 2024

Today, we commemorated the 53th year death anniversary of my mother Mary Go Ledesma. So many things have changed since the pandemic: My sister Helen TanSuk is no longer with us. She passed away from cancer during the time of pandemic in 2021. My eldest sister Imelda Yaw is presently confined in Noli Center, a home for the Alzheimer’s since 2022 and is deteriorating fast. My sister Jeannette Yu is in Cotabato unable to attend and my younger brother Wilson is out of the country with his family. 

The Ledesma siblings who partook of the family get together today were my eldest brother William and his wife Jean and his whole family including grand children, my youngest brother Willie and his wife Solan, nephews Bernard and Carlo (the children of my late sister Helen), nephew Charlton (son of my sister Jeannette) and his wife and children, and lastly my husband Lucas, my daughter Martha and myself. 

Despite missing a lot of kins today, yet we respectfully continued to observe the Chinese tradition of laying offerings of food on the ancestral altar and food was as plenty for everyone to partake. We burned incense and said our personal prayers and petitions and burned gold papers for my Mama holy soul in heaven. I sent special petitions for my mother to intercede and pray for me and for Lucas and all my children and their family. But before doing all these Chinese family traditions, we first went to mass at 9am and had the mass offered for the holy soul of our parents. Food was plentiful, we all contributed to make it a sumptous lunch. The main dish was lechon, there was cha mi, sushi, fresh lumpia, fried prawns, dinuguan, pork belly, and plentiful of desserts too such as mango salad, cakes, donuts etc. After meal, we were served coffee and Puh-er tea to cleanse our palate. By the way my brother William and his wife Jean and their children were the hosts of this family affair. 

Late posting……..

 I left blogger since 2022 because I was busy taking care of my now 83 year old husband and so many things had happened that it was difficult for me to have time to post. Since then, there had been bad times and good times. One of the good thing that happened was the wedding of my daughter Marion Lara Tan to Marion Joren Olmillo. It has been a year now since their wedding on January 15, 2023. I wanted to post some wedding pictures here but I dont seem to know how to do it anymore. 

My daughter Marion was the most beautiful bride ever. It was an emotional event for the family. The whole family came home to Manila. Many relatives here and abroad graced the event with full suppport too. My husband Lucas as able to walk his daughter to the altar despite his progressing parkinsons, henceforth the emotions. I Thank God for this wonder happening in my life.

At present, Lucas left fractured arm is healed but he has been dependent upon assistance now ever since the fall. I am trying my best to be a good wife but I have lost a lot of patience and understanding. We continue to hire a caregiver to assist him. May God have mercy on him and on me and my whole family. 

Hoping and Praying

Lucas and I stayed in Manila for about three months. We emplaned on April 12, 2022 and came back on July 3, 2022. During those months, our children came home to our second home in Manila to see us. They gave us encouragement and care and love. I was less stressed and depressed with them around. Lucas and I went to see our rounds of doctors at Cardinal Santos Hospital. We consulted orthopedic doctor, neurosurgeon, rehab doctor, gastroenteritist, urologist, dermatologist, endocrinologist etc. He underwent X-rays, several blood tests, mri, bone density test, etc. Most of his lab test results turned out okay and normal. Lucas upon recommendation of his Rehab doctor went for physical therapy three times a week. Did he get better? His left arm seemed to progress slowly, but his Parkinson’s or physical balance seemed to continue to deteriorate. After spending several weeks and/or months, our children had to go back to work. We had to come home to Cotabato too. 

In Cotabato we continue to see doctors here, and continue with Lucas’ physical therapy. I continue to hire caregivers to help him. I am trying my utmost to lessen his pain and discomfort. I have tried my best to attend to him. I continue to hope and pray that he gets better each day. 

My only hope and help comes from entrusting my husband and myself to our Lord Jesus Christ who I know can perform a great miracle to make this 82 year old man get better. I fight on, take care of him, and pray and talk to God to keep my hope burning. Nothing is impossible for the Lord. He loves those who believe and love him. 

Incase he gets better, there are plenty of people who can attest to God’s love for me and my husband and our family. My daughter Marion who is in New Zealand is getting married this coming January of 2023. She will be married in Catholic rites here in the Philippines. Lucas may not be able to walk her to the altar, but I pray that he be strong and healthy enough to give away the bride.

Lord, be our strength. Lord, please fight for us. God, please be with us as we undergo this great trial. You see us, you hear us, you feel us. You know what we are going through. You are merciful and compassionate. Be kind to my husband in his old age. Lord have mercy on us. Lord please hear our prayers and answer our pleas. Thank you.

Slip and Fall

My husband Lucas slipped and fell last March 30, 2022. He cracked his left upper humorous arm. He was in pain. I had to hire caregivers to help me care for him. He has difficult in mobility and walking because of Parkinson’s. Now his left arm is in a sling and we have to be very careful that he doesn’t move it.

We flew to Manila on April 12 to see doctors. His orthopedic gave us options to surgery or not. We opted not to do surgery because of his age. As of present, Lucas is undergoing rehabilitation for his left wrist and elbow so that they will not stiffen. It will take a long time to heal but currently he does not feel much pain. I am hoping and praying that he heals fast and recovers safely and fully. 

O God, please see us through this crisis. Please heal him. I am praying for your divine and miraculous intervention and mercy. Please heal him from his fracture and Parkinson’s. Have mercy on us. Nothing is impossible for you Lord. 

New Normal?

The count of covid cases here in the Philippines begins to drop. The government also brought down the alert level. This is a piece of good news. But I am still scared. Many people have let down their guards. Some people are practically not wearing masks anymore. Lucas and I still continue to stay at home though, not shopping, eating out or going else where. The only place we go is the church. We attend Sunday mass at the church. I also do my station of the cross at the church. I was able to see my dentist though and Lucas had his ultra sound. So far so good. But we do not know how to live normally anymore. There is always fear in my heart and mind. My husband and I keep our distances with other people. We continue to double masks and wear face shield and wash our hands with alcohol in public. I wave at my sister Jeannette at church. Sometimes she does not wear her mask properly. After church, we passed by fast food drive thru, and order hamburger or spaghetti whatever we fancy. I long for the day when I will not be afraid anymore. I want to go to Manila to see my daughter Martha, and go the rounds of our doctors for check up. So far, I am trying to contact some of our doctors right now. However my  husband’s neurologist is not doing face to face consultation yet at this present writing. I hope all will be well when we go to Manila. Dear Lord, please make things normal again. Keep us and all our families and love ones all safe in your love and safekeeping.

Lucas Tested Positive

My husband Lucas despite all the precautions: 1. Wearing double masks and face shield whenever going to our hardware store. 2. Wearing an air purifier neck piece. 3. Constantly washing hands with soap and water or alcohol. 4. Keeping his distance with people. 5. Having been vaccinated and getting his booster shot. Yet on January 16 of 2022, he began to cough frequently specially at night. At first I thought it was just a kind of habitually clearing of his throat, (He has this habit of clearing his throat often during the day or while he is inside the bathroom, or brushing his teeth.) but his coughing that Sunday night disturbed his sleep. When he woke up on Monday morning, he was feverish. I gave him Biogesic paracetamol and he felt better. He went down to open the store and had himself tested with rapid antigen test, he tested positive. I informed all my children about the results through Messenger. (We are all dispersed in different places). They gave me preliminary advices on how to take care of ourselves, like isolating him in the room, wearing masks at home and for me to use the adjacent room and toilet. Yes, I could sleep on the adjacent room, it has a connecting door. We could keep our masks on, but Lucas needed me to care for him during this difficult situation. As you may know, my husband is suffering from progressive Parkinson’s disease. He moves very slowly and I have to help him in many ways. “O God have mercy on him and have mercy on me.” 

My daughter Martha, that same Monday arranged for us a tele-consultation at 8 pm with her friend, a pulmonologist doctor. The doctor was very kind. He listened and he heard Lucas coughing. He gave us medical advices and prescribed medicines for me to buy on Tuesday. Cotabato City was running out of many paracetamol, cough and colds medicines. Luckily we were able to buy them. There was however this anti viral medicine called molnupiravir that was nowhere to be found. My son Tom however inquired and asked for help from many friends and sources and thankfully, he was able to make contacts. Raymond Tan temporarily loaned us a box of pills to be used and to be replaced when stock was available. Our stocks came all the way from Davao and Manila. From Davao was through the help of nephew Dominic Tan and Ian Co. From Manila, Tom got me molnupiravir also incase I get sick too. They came from my brother Wilson Ledesma in Manila. Thank you Lord God. His helping hand can be felt during these time of ordeal. Lucas got a little better after taking all the prescribed medicines. But covid can be treacherous. A person can be better one day, then get worse the next day, then get better again and worse again. We thought he was ok already on the fourth day but his cough got worse at night. I continued to viber message his pulmonologist. We got some allergy medicines too. I was thinking maybe it could be allergy since our house was so dusty because our neighbor the gasoline station was under construction. 

To add more problem to our trials, one of my maids left us few days after Lucas got sick. She left me at a time when I needed her most. But to tell you honestly, I forgave her from the bottom of my heart. This much I can do for being grateful to God for helping my husband and sparing me from this illness. 

Two weeks after Lucas coughing symptoms began, although he continued to cough at night, he went down to the store and got tested negative. I however continued to monitor his temperature and oximeter twice a day to make sure he had no fever and his oxygen level okay. At present he is back to work. He stopped taking his cough and colds and fever medicines but until today February 5, he still coughed a few times specially at night and once in awhile during the day. It could be allergies or habitual clearing of the throat and nose or whatever. 

I pray to God to bring him to full and complete and safe recovery. Blessed Mother, please pray for him. O God, have mercy on us and please put an end to this covid and all the variants very very soon. Have mercy O Lord, have mercy. Thank you Lord for keeping us out of harm and danger. Please bring my husband Lucas to full and complete and safe recovery from this illness. Thank you.

Late Posting, End of 2021 and Beginning of 2022

I just want to write down the important near normal events that God had so privileged my husband and I to have despite the pandemic. Relieving the events, so I will not forget:

November 30, 2021 - Lucas and I made arrangement with our parish priest for a scheduled confession at Queen of Peace Church. It was coincidentally the birthday of Father Simeon Samson Jr. too, our parish priest. I was very emotional during the confession. I wanted so much for God to have mercy on us.

December 3, 2021 - Lucas and I went to the City Health office to get our booster shot around two o’clock in the afternoon. We got Pfizer for booster from the recommendation of Dr. Jorge Padilla, the neurologist who had been seeing Lucas for home service lately. 

December 8, 2921 - My husband attended our first mass since March 15, 2020. It was the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. A holiday of obligation and a national holiday as well. I was again very emotional. I so wanted God to heal us all. Lucas and I had a hard time getting back to the schedule of attending mass. Lucas was kind of restless the night before.

December 12, 2021 - Our first Sunday mass since the lockdown. We attended the second mass at eight o’clock in the morning. There were few people only, as most of the church goers attended the Misa de Gallo at early dawn.

December 17, 2021 - Lucas and I got our flu vaccines at Queen of Peace Church premise in the morning. After the flu shots, we visited the cathedral. It was really my wish to visit the cathedral for I used to be a frequent visitor of the church. The church was quiet as usual. It felt good to do so and pray at the church. Afterwards we bought burger and apple pie at Macdonald’s. Although we mostly limited our going out to the church, it was good to be able to go out again.

December 19, 2021 - We confined our church activities mostly to attending masses, yet I was scared since more people are going out already and the church is becoming full. I was selfish. I was hoping the church would have fewer people. Lord, please put an end to this pandemic already.

December 24, 2021 - We celebrated Christmas at our home and in our hearts. We spent the day at home with peace in our hearts but blasting with Christmas songs at the sala. I prepared a little bit of nice food like noodles and ham and fruit salad. We shared the food with our househelps too. Thank God for them. The food were not lavish though since Philippines specially Visayas region was just recently hard hit by typhoon Odette. I was most thankful that my son Tom and his family in Cebu City got their power and water back before Christmas. At least they will have a little normalcy on Christmas Day. Thank God for this. They had dinner with my son Emil and his wife Sue and my daughter Martha who was in Cebu for the holidays. Emil’s place was still out of power but they had generator and were assured to have generated lights for three days. Thank God for this also. Thank you God for the best Christmas gifts to me and my family. I love you Lord. Happy birthday my Lord Jesus Christ! Thank you for your great love.

December 25, 2021 - Lucas and I attended Christmas mass at 8 in the morning at Queen of Peace Church. Since the misa de gallo has ended, there were plenty of attendees during the eight o’clock morning mass. Lucas and I went to church early and selected to be seated at the first front pew, so it wouldn’t be crowded. My sister Jeannette was there on the other side of the aisle and she was coughing. There was another guy at our back, Oscar Tan Abing if I was not mistaken who was coughing too. I gave my sister additional mask to cover her mouth. I was kind of scared. We kept our distance all the time, but some people didn’t know how to keep distance. Some people didn’t know how to observe pandemic discipline.

December 26, 2021 - We attended Sunday mass. Our activities were mostly confined to church. But after church, we would request our driver to go to Jollibee or Macdonald’s drive-thru to buy hamburger,  spaghetti, pie. We were always hungry after the mass. Hehehe.

December 31, 2021 - We had new year’s eve dinner at Lucio’s place. There were only 5 of us namely Lucio (Lucas’ eldest brother), his wife Conchita, nephew Eugene, Lucas and I. On the way to LCT Bodega for dinner, (We were picked up by Eugene’s driver) we passed by the plaza, the fruit stands and the barbecue stands. We were shocked that there were a lot of people milling around. The crowds anywhere were not observing distancing protocol and a lot of people were not wearing mask either. Infact there seemed to be an overcrowding of people despite the drizzles. There were plenty of people eating at the barbecue stands unafraid of the pandemic. It seemed to be that my husband and I were only the people who were scared. At Lucio’s residence though, I was very happy and enjoyed this dinner with them. It was so nice to have this near normal gathering. After dinner, we went home early and went to sleep before midnight, before the firing of firecrackers began. We woke up through the noise though. Happy new year everyone!!!

January 1st, 2022 - We attended new year’s mass, the Solemnity of the Mother of God. As usual, there were always fewer people on New Year’s Day compared to Christmas Day.

January 2nd, 2022 - We attended Sunday mass but decided to look out and take precaution next Sunday since omicron variant has reached the Philippines.

January 5, 2022 - I attended the first Friday mass at 6:30 AM. Very few people on weekdays.

January 6, 2022 - Lucas and I decided to brave it out and go to Kusiong Beach on Thursday morning, a weekday. Aside from fearing the pandemic, we were also scared about safety on the way. Anyway we were glad for the decision. The whole beach front was empty. We didn’t swim though because there was no proper bathroom for changing clothes, rather we just stepped barefooted on the sand and the seawater. We called it grounding by the way. It was supposed to get rid of our bodily pains and maladies. Hehehe. We also enjoyed eating snacks on the beach. For the first time and the longest time, we drank cold soda. It was a splurge of appetite. We really did enjoy our beach escapade. The driver and the maid pick up a lot of stones and peebles for us too. I was so happy to have enjoyed the sea breeze and the water and the sand. Thank you God for giving us this opportunity. Thank you.

After January 6, 2022 - there has been a big surge of covid cases in the Philippines and Cotabato as well. We decided to stay put and stay home until this crisis be over. But we are scared since even people who are vaccinated get the sickness too. O God, please spare and protect us all from this pandemic. We believe, we hope and we trust in you. Have mercy O Lord. Have mercy.