Saturday, January 17, 2009

" the feeling of being insignificant "

I just saw this title awhile ago in a multiply blog, and it brings back memories.......I'll tell you how it feels.....
1. I felt insignificantly a nobody when I was in college living with my fair, beautiful, intelligent, smart and rich cousins in Manila. Don't get me wrong, they were good and nice; it just so happened that I was in no comparison to them physically, financially and whatsoever, even the slightest of talents. haha! Imagine, I was even once erroneously mistaken to be their maid by an affiliated kin. Hahaha!.
An earlier incident during my first trip to Manila as a 13 year old on vacation.... I went with my cousins to a birthday party of one of their godmothers. We went into a unit of a long row of apartments somewhere in downtown Manila. It was not a very big party but the celebration was intimate. The godmother was a pretty upcoming commercial model. Although my cousin Adele properly introduced me as her cousin, I was however ridiculed when somebody asked "Who is this girl?" One joking answer came "kepia" as in neighbor. They joked about me. "Is she kepak or kepia" (cousin or neighbor) and they laughed boisterously at the joke as though I didn't understand a single Chinese word they were speaking.
2. And as I recall, there was this important person in my uncle's office who never acknowledged my insignificant presence every time I visited my sister Theng who was working for my uncle Fernando. This guy was a nice person, a good employee. He was gregarious to everybody except he treated me like an invisible cloak. Sadly, I guess he did not even get to remember this poor little dark girl among sweet pretty Nelly, Adele and Marlin until he died.
3. In college, I also felt inferior among classmates who came from big and other exclusive girl schools in Manila.They speak perfect English. They were very friendly, very pretty and had good grades. I shifted course though from that honors class. I knew I wasn't good enough.
4. When my mother died and I decided to stay home in Cotabato, I felt lonely among cheery friends during my Catholic youth days. They were a peer group which I tried to belong. They however outcasted me from their circle immediately after I got married.
5. When I got married, I joined in my husband's family social group. I was a misfit I guess. Sometimes I would be left alone in an empty row while people transfered and get seated with rich and popular personalities. Other times I would try to take a vacant seat in a crowded room, but certain groups would tell me that the seat was already taken and or reserved for another person. Going to a party then, I would always tell my husband not to leave me until I was seated.
But for all these times, I have already gotten used to my insignificant self.
And because I have a memory like an elephant and I have seen people who are better and kind, I tried to improve myself in all aspects: physically, academically, socially, religiously etc. And because of it, I think I have become a better person today. Now a day, I feel embarrassed when people accost me with the slightest importance. I have to look back from my shoulder.... I have to keep on remembering.......not because I want to be somebody, but because I want to be a better and kinder person.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

January 2, 2009 - Los Banos

Marion was able to get a leave from Citi on Jan. 2. I was happy she was able to join us to Los Banos. Helen and I together with our families went to Los Banos, Laguna. Bernard brought us to see 88 hot spring resort- a Korean & Chinese venture spa. It was a nice place and we took a sumptuous Korean lunch there, but we decided to bath at Splash Resort instead, where there was a private jacuzzi pool for the family to enjoy. Lucas was the official photographer of the family! hahaha!

Ring in the Happy New Year 2009

Dec. 31, 2008

New Year's Eve supper at my home in Quezon City. I prepared fresh lumpia, herbal chicken soup, fish and desserts. Jun & Jean & family came with beef dish, noodles, baked potatoes and happy new year cookies, Helen and children provided the drinks. Boy & Diane and kids dropped by bearing coffee and fresh cheese bread from Manhann before going to the Chua's. We had a happy new year supper. The house was very merry with food and noises and laughters from the old and the young. After supper, the kids played word game at the sala while the adult continued eating and talking (hahaha). Janah and her boyfriend Johnson joined in later and Marion came in at 9:30 after work from Citi. It was a happy new year's meal. Very merry and happy! (Sayang we were not able to take pictures with Boy and family)

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Dec. 30, 2008

We picked up Marion from her office at Citi and ate supper at Capriciosa, Greenbelt 3. The resto was prettily decorated and we took some pictures to capture the Christmas atmosphere.

Dec. 24, 2008

We had Christmas dinner with Uncle Fernando and his family, then came home and opened our gifts. Dylan was the recipient of most of the presents under the Christmas tree, although each one received at least one. Martha and Marion used to have stacks of gifts before...hehehe.They are grown ups now. It's Dylan's time!

Dec 23, 2008

Lucas and I arrived Manila to spend Christmas vacation with the children. We didn't bring a lot of gifts or things. We brought food stuff though.... lechon and pastils for everyone to eat. We didn't take a lot of pictures that day, but look at the lechon!...hahaha

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Chaos at school

First day chaos at school - I punched in about 5 minute late, just right after the flag ceremony. I thought everybody else will come in early but I was terribly wrong: the principal was absent, the school custodian as absent, the kindergarten Chinese department head was late and couldn't care less, the school registrar was late and the school helper was absent. Classrooms from kindergarten to high school couldn't be open because nobody knew where the keys were. When they were finally opened, the classrooms were oh so dirty. (Primary and high school classrooms were opened even much later.) One of the kiddie classrooms became the nest station of the birds. The pile of leaves and rubbish where half a drum full. Parents helped the teachers sweep up the floor. I was kind of concerned that some pupils maybe be sensitive to the dust and dirt. The nursery pupils waited outside while we cleaned up the room. And I have a new memo for schedule of examination to be printed, but nobody knew how to operate the machine. Nobody is authorized to operate the machine except the custodian. The school can not function without her this morning, and they talk about me becoming the next principal. No thank you. I better hand in my resignation soonest possible!

Feast of Epiphany

It seems just like yesterday when I was contemplating to attend the dawn masses, and looking forward to be with my children in Manila and now it's the Feast of Epiphany - first Sunday after New Year, or what people commonly call the "The Feast of the Three Kings". Christmas season is officially over and I am back to Cotabato. Happy Three Kings everyone!