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Friday, June 22, 2018

Before and Now

I was a cute little girl before, now I am an ugly 66 years old woman. Well, but I have not been pretty, or lovely or physically attractive ever since. Some things never changed. Hahaha!!!


Many things do change inside me though, let me do some comparisons:
1. When I was young, I had no care in the world. These days I have become such a paranoid, scared of so many things beyond my control. I dare say, nothing is really within my control!!!
2. Before I loved to hear the pitter patter or the sounds of rainfall on my rooftop. Now a days I am afraid that the big rain would cause my roof, gutters and down pouts to break while I sleep.
3. Before my home was my greatest safe haven: now I know better. Nowhere is safe in the face of natural or man made calamities like earthquake, fire, typhoon, akyat bahay (home break-ins), etc.
4. I used to think I was an introvert, my children say otherwise.
5. In the past, I taught and tutored my children relentlessly: today I am learning a lot from them. I am surely proud of it either way.
6. I used to be quiet and slow to respond: Help! I can not hold my tongue in check and quick to get into an outburst at an instant provocation.
7. I was a spoiled brat among my siblings, but I think I have grown wiser and more matured in this aspect. Not bad at all.
8. I was spoiled by my mom before: my husband spoils me now. Hehehe.
9.  I was unkempt and dirty as a child: a complete turn-over as I grow older. Infact I have become more of an OC (obsessive compulsive) person right now.
10. I had so much hope for the future before: yet now, I am frustrated with the present and in distressed for the future......not really very good in this sense.

Surely there are more good things, but I am just too lazy to think about it now. To sum it all though, everything points to growing old. It is such a scourge to grow old. Like a child, I want to be taken care of. O Lord, please just do take care of me and my loved ones. In you I hope, in you I trust.