Aging

 Growing old is inevitable. There is no let up. A person, upon reaching 40, begins to develop far sightedness. The once good eyes get easily tired and are needing of reading glasses. When I reached  40, I sincerely thought, maybe I would be exempted, but no. There is no exemption. After 50; most women undergo menopausal. It takes about three years I think to totally lost your female hormones. Symptoms vary from physical to physiological and mental. Drinking glasses of tofu milk everyday helped me a lot in alleviating my physical and emotional discomforts, but then my uric acid began to shoot up too. I had to slowly temper my tofu. At 60, joints and back pains are common occurrences, not to mention cataracts develop too at 60. And at 70, I think major illnesses happen. I am horribly frighten. I celebrated my 70th birthday last November 2021, wouldn’t I be scared?! I have an 81 year old husband to care for. Lord please slow down our aging process. I pray to God to spare me from major sicknesses, diseases and illnesses. Please help O Lord. Life is not easy but thank you for the gift of life and good health and safety, specially during this time of pandemic. Keep me and all my love ones, strong and healthy, out of harm and out of danger please. Continue to love us Lord. Thank you.

Marcelino Pan y Vino

Marcelino Pan y Vino is the title of an old old movie. It was my sister Helen’s (May her soul Rest In Peace) and mine first miraculously, kind of religious movie. We were very young and we watched it at the Lyric theater, a walking distance cinema that played English films in Cotabato City. This movie house had long been gone since we were teens. It think it was razed by a big fire. But young though we were, the movie made a very strong impression on us. We never forgot the title of the film, nor the little boy who secretly gave bread and wine daily to a poor pitiful suffering man, whom he uncovered in the monastery church attic. I even remembered the boy died at the end of the story. However many of the film’s other scenarios and circumstances I forgot already. 

Some three or four years ago, my late sister Helen acquired a television gadget for old movies. She invited us siblings to watch old movies with her. We had date dinner and old movie nights at her home. We tried at times searching for this particular film, but sadly we were not able to do so. Maybe it was just too old, or wasn’t really that popular. 

Anyway, yesterday November 12, I happened to see on Facebook, an offering to watch a movie presentation of Marcelino Pan y Vino in U tube. I did not let this chance passed. I had to watch this. Maybe my guardian Angel was helping me, or Helen was helping me too since I still continue to grieve for her. The movie however was in full Spanish, with no English translation. But I had to see this again. So I did. This was a movie taken in Mexico. The baby Marcelino was left at the doorstep of the monastery. He grew up with the priests along side with his neighbors the Mexicans rebels or bandidos. There are other scenarios of other people’s lives in the story but I just wanted to watch the miraculous part where he met Jesus. To make a long story short, Marcelino was such a precocious child at five. He was loved by everybody. He and his friend Iluterio were forbidden to go to the monastery attic because it was a run down place and storage of many church’s old and unused things. Then Iluterio died, from gunshot wound during a raid by the Mexican troops. Long after, Marcelino playfully, imagining himself playing with his friend, he went up to the attic by himself and accidentally uncovered the crucified statue of Jesus Christ. He got scared but went back again. He thought the man was a poor hungry stranger, and so offered him bread from the dining hall and wine from the sacristy. The man thanked him and talked to him. Lastly, to end the story, Marcelino began saving his own bread from his own meal, and also the left over wine from the priests’ meal in the dining hall. At the end, the priests with much curiosity, secretly followed him.  They heard and saw Jesus talking to him. Jesus asked what Marcelino wanted, his answer was to see his mother. Jesus took him up. Then both of them vanished into thin air. 

After watching this movie, it made me think. Miracles do not happened like this. What man wishes to happen, is not how God works. God ways are different from man’s ways. 

On the other hand, it made me think about my sister Helen. I think God has taken my sister Helen up into heaven. We had not seen each other since the pandemic began. She was okay by then. Then It was like God took her away from us and she just disappeared into thin air like Marcelino. We did not get to see her again. God took her away and she just vanished from this life into eternal light. I was thinking, maybe my sister Helen wanted to comfort me by letting me watch this old old movie. It was such a coincidence that I chance to see this old film from U tube through Facebook. Thank you my guardian Angel for guiding me and thank you Helen for consoling me. 

Helen Ledesma Tansuk 1949-2021

My sister Helen L. Tansuk passed away last October 10, 2021, 71 years old; 21days short of her supposedly 72nd birthday on October 31st. She died at the Cardinal Santos Hospital from 4th stage cancer. She was hospitalized on September 27. Her son Bernard was with her all through out her two weeks ordeal. The night Helen was admitted to the hospital, she was administered her last sacrament. She had confession and communion. God was gracious to her. The eve before she passed away, although in coma, a recorded rosary prayer was done for her by those who loved her. She passed away at around 10 am on a Sunday.  She is now in the presence of our Lord. No more sickness and pain. She is survived by her sons Gary and Aileen and three grand children, Bernard and Carlo; and her siblings Imelda, Jeannette, William, Heddy, Wilson and Willie.

May her soul Rest In Peace. May perpetual light shine upon her. Amen.

Nothing Much to Write About

I have not written for few months now because there is nothing much of any good news to write about. I have been staying at home most of the time, and although I am cooped up at home, yet I am even made more busy by taking care of house repairs. I did not like to add more anxieties to mine or our lives by writing unpleasant things. I wish I can share good news but until now the pandemic has not gone away. I pray the rosary everyday for my family and love ones, for friends, and for people who hardly know me. I pray for people who are in need of prayers, and also for the holy souls of those who have passed away either from the virus or other illnesses. I pray that God will soon end this pandemic. He is a loving and kind God. He will have mercy on us. God is our only hope and our only help. 

June 2021

Last June, I was busy attending to my husband because he had a sudden attack of lower back, lumbar pain. It was so painful that Lucas could hardly walk. I quickly asked and called up his Masonic brother and orthopedic doctor, Doctor Dimaren Dimatingcal at Cotabato Regional Medical Center for help. The good brother and doctor prescribed pain medicines for him through the cellphone. I also further consulted my husband neuro doctor in Manila. With the help of the two doctors advices, I also added my own personal lumbar attack experience by binding his back and stomach with my own girdle which helped him a lot. Lucas’ lower back got better but the pain transferred to his left leg and calf and ankle. His neurosurgeon told us for Lucas to do an mri, but we were so scared to go the hospital because there were a lot of new cases of covid in Cotabato. We however make do of some home remedies like hot compress, pain balm application, reducing his high in uric acid food intake, etc etc. 

I prayed to God, I asked Mama Mary, Saint Joseph and the Angels and Saints in heaven for help. I hang on to pray on the Feast Day of the Sacred  Heart of Jesus, also during the Feast Day of  Our Mother of Perpetual Help. With the help of Jesus our Lord, and our Blessed Mother, Lucas slowly got better. I also slowly weaned him from all his pain medicines. Thank God, he is okay now. He still has a lot of issues regarding muscles and nerve maladies but his lumbar and leg pains are gone. 

Thank God for your great help! Thank you so very very much! I love you Lord for you have love us first and will always love us. Thank you.

Something Good......

I wish I could write something nice, aside from all the pandemic scares and anxiety. Anyway, let me say something good. Yes, members of the family have been vaccinated already: Roy got his moderna shot in USA. Lucas and I got our sinovac in Cotabato City. Martha had her first and second sinovac too. Emil and Suiling got their first AstraZeneca dose and so too did Tom and Angel. Marion remains unvaccinated, but she is in New Zealand. My grandchildren still have to wait for their turn, to get the vaccination for children. I really hope that more vaccines will come so that our workers can get vaccinated very soon too. Well, China sent in two millions of sinovac recently. I hope they rollout the vaccine soon and fast. In the meantime, we still continue to wear masks and observe safety and health protocols. One still needs to be careful and keeps safe. I pray to God to end this pandemic very very soon. 

Below are pictures taken during Lucas and my vaccination.

      

Lucas’ first sinovac dose on April 28, 2021.

Second sinovac shot on May 26, 2021.

Second Sinovac Dose

Yesterday, May 26, 2021, my husband and I got our second dose of Sinovac vaccine. This second time around I was not so anxious as compared to the first time, because I knew before hand the site where we were going to and also the time of my choice to get the jab. I was only apprehensive because the rollouts also included not only the second dose but also the first dose vaccers, hence there would be more people. 

Lucas and took our early lunch at 10AM and we were at the center at almost 11AM. There were few people going for vaccination at 11 o’clock. However as we arrived, we could clearly see that there were a number of people who were already vaccinated, seated, and waiting to be released. We saw Yubeng Chua, Ramon Cua, Desiree Chiong, Henry and Judith Uy etc, who were all ahead of us, seated waiting to be released. Lucas and I got through easily for our shots, but after the vaccination, I did not like to be seated in the waiting section; so I pulled two chairs separately and seated ourselves apart but nearby. Somehow the attendants sensing my apprehension, checked our blood pressure and oxygen earlier than usual. As we were monitored with normal bp and oxygen level, we were released sooner, even earlier than Yubeng and Henry and Judith Uy. After we were released, I verily thank God for giving us this opportunity to get our second dose of vaccine peacefully, and for keeping us safe in his love and safekeeping. Lord, keep us safe always.

And to add more people, Lucio and Conchita Tan, my sister-in-law Lechu and her husband Manuel, my neighbors Conchita, Sofia, Vicente Co and friends Siolan Yap, Norma Lim, Lolita Uy, etc, got their second dose of Sinovac too yesterday. I was most happy though that my sister, Jeannette Yu finally took her first dose too yesterday. I hope more people will get vaccinated, so that we can soon end the spread of the virus and the pandemic very very soon. 

O God, please help us. Thank you.

May 2021

The month of May is dedicated in honor of our Lady. Ever since long time ago, I have always been confident that Our Blessed Mother is with us during the month of May. May is always a beautiful and blessed month. When my children were young, I offered my children to her as my flowers offerings, my Flores de Mayo, that they may all grow up to be good Catholics and well protected by our most blessed Mother. Until now, I continue to be confident that she is with us. I pray for her intercessions during this difficult time. O Blessed Mother, intercede for us to your only son Jesus. He loves you and he listens and obeys his most loving mother. I pray for all members of my family’s safety and good health, wherever dispersed we may be in different places and at different homes. O Blessed Mother hear my prayers. May 13 is the feast day of your apparition in Fatima. Please, may your immaculate heart triumph during this dark and difficult time. Help us please. May God put an end to this pandemic very very soon. O Blessed Mother pray for us and the whole world. 

Sinovac

 At long last, my husband Lucas and I were vaccinated with our first dose of Sinovac yesterday at the Norte Dame Village Elementary School. Two days before, and even few hours before we had our shots, we were so distraught because of confusing informations regarding vaccination sites and schedules. The night before, we were sleepless because of anxiety. and Lucas even had an accidental slip at the bathroom. It was a good thing nothing worse happened. We were supposed to go before three pm, but a friend called up Dominic to inform us, that the site was closing at two pm. We hurriedly ate lunch before noon and left early. The vaccination site was well coordinated though, it was clean and spacious and people administering the inoculation were kind and friendly. During that lunch time hour, the place was not crowded. The doctor who screened us, was Dr. Kirby Plando. He was my pupil at St. Martha School. He was thorough and good. Thank you God for providing us the shots. Thank you dear Lord. Thank you.

Healing Rosary from Fort del Pilar, Zamboanga City

Last night, my husband Lucas, our house helps and myself attended our more than a year healing rosary streamed online every Wednesday night. We have been doing this for more than a year now since last year March 19, 2020. Last night the prayers were done from the shrine of Fort del Pilar in Zamboanga city. I was particularly drawn to it because of Our Lady of Pillar. I wrote about our Lady of Pillar last May 20, 2020, when we were doing the rosary online from Cavite. This year I am confident, our Blessed Mother will intercede for us and help us from this pandemic, most specially our country the Philippines which is on the surge of the second wave. 

Blessed Mother, the people are all suffering. Please help us and intercede for us to your only son Jesus Christ. He will listen to you. Keep us under the mantle of your maternal protection where ever each member of the family maybe in different places. We pray and hope more vaccines will arrive. We are still waiting for our turn to be vaccinated here in Cotabato. 

Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy. Lord have mercy.

Waiting........

Today is April 9, 2021. We are still waiting for the rollout of vaccines for senior citizens. Additional one million of sinovac arrived last week in the Philippines, but the department of health just very recently approved the use of sinovac for senior citizens; that is because the AstraZeneca is out of stock. My husband and I are amenable to use the sinovac. 50% protection is better than no protection at all. Infact the neurologist of my husband in Manila, cautioned him not to use AstraZeneca because of his muscle auto immune some kind of an ailment. 

Manila right now is scary because of the upsurge of new cases. It has been under lockdown for more than a week now but the cases are still going up. My cousin Henry Go Lim died from the covid. All his family members went through trying and traumatic experiences because other members got infected as well. We know of other people and their families in Metro Manila who tested positive too. Some had to be hospitalized, others went through isolations from family members at home. We heard of one person, the brother of an employee, who died in the hospital sitting on a monobloc plastic chair, although accordingly it was not covid related death but he had pneumonia. O God, we need help! Please help our country the Philippines!!! But the rollout of the sinovac vaccine is going too slow. As of present only 1% of the Philippine population has been vaccinated. O God, how and when are you going to help us out?!

Dear Lord, it is the Easter already. You have risen and is seated at the right hand of the Father, together with the Holy Spirit, One God forever and ever. Please come to us, please reign over us and encompass us with your saving grace and healing power. Help us Lord, rescue us and save us all. O God, my Lord Jesus Christ, in you we trust. Come Lord Jesus come!!!

A Little Bit of Love

 I am 69 years old. I am a retired teacher, and has been confined at home since the pandemic. My husband is 80 years old. He goes to the store everyday. After work, he also stays at home. After a year, things did not get better. There are more new cases and more variants. The roll out of vaccines here in the Philippines has been sparse and slow. We are at our wit ends already. Things are not getting any better. I cried out with tears to the Lord for mercy during my prayers the other day. The count went down a little bit yesterday, but rises again today. Yet in my prayers, I reflected......the Lord has allowed this pandemic to happen, he must have a purpose........

What have I learned and gained from this pandemic?......I learn that the kingdom of God is with us and among us. It is with our families, our neighbors, our communities and the people around us. We love and suffer together, henceforth, we should care and love each other. 

What have I done to help others? In my own small ways, despite being cooped up at home, I try to give a little bit of love.....

1. I pray fervently everyday for my love ones as well as for others. I pray for those who are sick, also for those who have passed away from the covid 19 and from other diseases. It grieves me when I feel somebody is in deep grief.

2. I pray for all the people around me: our employers, employees, workers, co-workers, runners, drivers, housemates, household helps, neighbors and their families and love ones. We are all interconnected to each other. This dark time has made us realized that we need each other to survive this crisis.

3. I try keeping in touch with all my children, siblings and some friends through text, calls and online messages. I am forgetting and forgiving all petty squabbles.

4. I hate to broadcast any good deeds, but I try to help by contributing small amount through online donation to typhoon victims. Although I really get so stressed doing these online things because I am so not really a techie person.

5. I share food with my in-laws. I have since become closer with my sister-in-law Rosita. We communicate by phone.

6. My sister Jeannette and I have become closer too. We exchange food and other commodities frequently.

7. Even though I have not attended mass for a year now, yet I try to help in my own small ways, two of the churches here in Cotabato City. 

8. I try to control myself from getting mad as much as I can at my new (relatively) new house help. I am trying to appreciate her, because sometimes she is really trying her best.

9. I share food and snacks with my household and my in-laws helps like cakes, coffee, milk, biscuits, crackers etc, in appreciation of their chores and help. We also get to attend online mass together on Sunday and pray the rosary together on Wednesday evening.

10. During this pandemic, I have avoided calling friends to gossip about others. 

11. I try my best to be more patient with my husband. We are both growing old.

12. In my heart, I have forgiven everybody who has hurt me. We are all suffering, we need forgiveness to heal. May God forgive us all and end this pandemic.

On the other hand......I am a recipient of every bit of love from my family, my love ones and all the people around me. 

1. My husband has been most patient and understanding with all my outbursts and anxieties during this pandemic. He calms me down often and he prays for me.

2. I know my children are all praying for their father and me. They are all in my prayers too. O Lord, hear our prayers.

3. Thanks to friends and relatives who prayed for my sister Helen when she had the covid.

3. My appreciation to my sister Jeannette who supplies me bread. And she gives me many other things too.

4. My contacts grocery stores and drugstore personnel are very attentive and kind to my requests. Thank you!

5. My house helps are also very patient with me and my outburst of temperament. They try to help me in every way they can. Thank God for them.

6. My nephew in Manila, Benwin Yu, in my wildest dream, I never expected him to buy my Chinese medicinal herbs and sent them to me here in Cotabato City.

7. To the runners that buy my medicines and other needs. Many thanks to them. 

8. Thanks to Jean Valentino for giving me and replacing my old and torn Mother of Perpetual Help novena booklet.

9. And thanks to all who have been kind and attentive to my husband and my needs. Thanks a lot.

Thank you Lord for letting me live and learn about your kingdom here on earth. Yes, we must all love and care for one another. We hope to continue to live through this life lesson we learn from this pandemic and practice love and charity without hindrance, but please put an end to the spread of the covid virus and the pandemic very very soon. Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy.

Vaccines in the Philippines

The first vaccine to arrive Philippines was Sinovac, on February 28, 2021, donated by China. About 600 thousands of the vaccine arrived in the evening. The next day though, on Monday, a batch of 400 plus thousands of AstraZeneca vaccines were to come; to be donated by the United Nation Covax facility, but to everybody’s disappointment, it was delayed once more. The Philippines was one of the last countries in Asia to be given the vaccines by the United Nation. But, we so much need it since we are second highest in number of cases in South East Asia. 

Upon arrival, the Sinovac vaccine was distributed to different regions and hospitals in the Philippines. I was very happy that Cotabato City, part of the Muslim autonomous region BARMM was also given allocation but alas, many health care workers who are the first recipients of the vaccine were wary about the Chinese product. Oh, but please we so much need the roll out, the soonest the better, and as many inoculations as possible because of the rising new cases again. People here in our country do not seem to know how to follow safety protocols. After a week, Philippines finally received the so much anticipated 400 thousand plus AstraZeneca. Again after another week, another batch came to make it around 500 thousand plus of AstraZeneca vaccines. Thankfully AstraZeneca was also allocated to the autonomous region. But they are really not enough. Of the 6,0000 vials for Cotabato City, only 3,000 can be given because of the two doses requirement. As of yesterday, March 13, 2021, only 114 thousand healthcare workers were so far vaccinated in the whole country. If you must know, Philippines has more than 110 million people in this islands nation. 

O Lord, how can we weather the surging of the virus? We have been cooped up for almost a year now, and still the numbers are still going up. What is your plan O Divine Master? We are so weak and weary already. Please come to help us O Lord Jesus. O Lord. Please look down upon us with mercy. We need your divine intervention to end the spread of the virus and the pandemic very very soon. Only you can help us and rescue us. Lord, have mercy. Please look down upon us with mercy and love.

Vaccines

I have been following up the roll outs of vaccines. UK was the first country that gave the first Pfizer shot. USA followed suit, then other countries. Here in the Philippines, we still have to wait for until when? And how will it arrive Cotabato?! 

I have known people who got their shots already in other countries and I am happy for them. I am glad that they are protected. The first to get the Pfizer vaccine was nephew Maya, a doctor in Tennessee, USA. Next was my high school friend and classmate Rita and also her daughter who worked as nurses in Canada. My sister-in-law Lolita Lim and her husband, both senior citizens in LA, USA, got their Moderna shots two weeks ago. Roger Yu who had a frontliner daughter got his vaccine too in LA as well. Last week my retired brother in law, Dr. Domingo Tan and his wife Jackie in Virginia, USA got their Pfizer shots; so too with our friends Rev. Ronald Jones and his wife Karen in Yakima, Washington, USA. Ron Jones and Karen in Yakima got Moderna shots. Then Violet, the mother-in-law of my son Emil, who was in Singapore got her Pfizer shot two days ago. I sincerely hope and wait for vaccines to come soon to the Philippines. 

O Lord, when and how will you deliver us from this crisis? We will patiently wait for your rescue and help, but do not delay O Lord. Do not lose us this your family and your people. We hope and trust in you. Keep us always in your love and safe keeping O Lord. Let us feel your presence and your love, O my Lord Jesus Christ.

Happy New Year 2021

Happy New Year!!! I hope and pray that the year 2021 will be a better, safer, more peaceful and happier year for us!!! 

Prepared a spread to celebrate the new year 2021.

Made it festive for happiness and blessings to come this new year.

Tina, Luna, Lucas and Heddy

Getting ready for the online mass. This picture was actually taken during the Feast of the Epiphany. Hahaha.

My household angels. They go through the hardship of time with us. Thank God for them.   

Happy New Year 2021!!! God bless us all!!!