Life

Life has its ups and downs. When things don't go my way, I try to make the most out of what it can offer. Most of the time, I don't get what I want, but I try my best to work and fight for whatever I believe is due me and what I can possibly achieve.

At some point in my young life, where I knew I was deficient in knowledge and abilities, I tried catching up. Although many a times because of my easy-going and lazy personality, I gave up a lot of hard works. But God knows how much I tried to learn and to improve myself. I picked up tips from my environment. I observed and listened and I remembered well what I saw and heard. I practiced my diction, I improved my awful handwriting, I listened to opinions, I read a few, I tried to be socially graceful and later discovered that it was by getting interested in other people, that one gets appreciated. One of my foremost exemplary models then and until now was my cousin Nelly.

When face with life's difficulty beyond my control, I pray. I pray a lot because I know God listens. He helps me go through and softens my fears, heart aches and pains. When I was in my early fifties, I went through a period of depression. I did not want my husband to know. But I cried each time I woke up in the morning and before going to bed at night. It was the best time to cry, Lucas would be at work when I woke up and he was asleep by the time I went to bed. How I got over this depression, I myself did not even know. What I know is that, whenever I pray the rosary, it calms me down. And sometimes I kept myself busy, just like tonight, I try writing this blog to take away whatever is bothering me. And I sing to myself. " God will make a way, where there seems to be no way....."

Life has many surprises, sometimes good, sometimes bad. I am scared of life. Tonight I am not feeling good physically. But I trust my God. He will take care of me and my love ones. Have mercy O Lord, have mercy!

Updates: Updated my grammatical errors this morning, and feeling much better after a good sleep last night.